Persian (Farsi) to English Art/Literary Poetry & Literature Autobiography - جرأت کردم او را پدر بخوانم" - بلقیس شیخ"

Greetings,

Here's the sentence:
اصلا دوست نداشتم در برابر صدها و یا شاید هزاران غریبه بایستم و به اصطلاح خودی نشان بدهم.

Bilquis is beginning to feel that God wants her to be an evangelist; however, she has doubts.

Here's the original:
I definitely did not like the idea of parading myself before hundreds, perhaps thousands, of strangers.

My problem really lies in the word خودی – is it linked semantically with به اصطلاح? Is it followed by, or preceded by, an extra kasre? Is it خود plus the indefinite ی?

Best wishes, and many thanks,

Simon