00:16 Jun 24, 2017 |
French to English translations [Non-PRO] Other | |||||
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| Selected response from: B D Finch France Local time: 14:16 | ||||
Grading comment
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Summary of answers provided | ||||
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3 +2 | almost a ripple on (rippling of) the surface |
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4 +1 | almost a quivering of the surface |
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presque d\'une fluctuation de la surface almost a ripple on (rippling of) the surface Explanation: Your paragraph seems fine, but here are other suggestions (thanks for asking, LOL!): Suggest ripple instead of fluctuation because fluctuation has too much a suggestion of radical instability, I think - e.g. bigger to smaller, hot to cold. Rather, the painting remains as is but pulsates with life. Instead of ripple, could be shimmer (magical coruscating light) or flux (abstract change) - I'm not sure what the author means. I don't like "water surface" because water isn't in the original, and it may be confusing because water is the subject of the paintings. I think the author may be talking about something in the paintings greater than the immediate subject - rather the combination of water, light, composition - all in playful flux. But I don't know. "work" is confusing because it resembles "rework" earlier in the sentence and yet the meaning is quite different. Maybe change work to "serve his purpose" - or change rework to "reprise" which is closer to original and conveys the intended meaning of repetition of a theme. Or change work to plays out, i.e., "ultimately becomes" (and this respects "jouer"). As a related point, I don't understand "ce." Why "ce sens" without que? Do they mean, works in THE sense that? Then pretty should be "a little" or "somewhat." Pretty is too colloquial I think. |
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Notes to answerer
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8 hrs confidence: peer agreement (net): +1
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